Earlier this week – okay, that’s a lie – for the past 8 MONTHS I’ve been going through a battle. Leaning heavily on my word-of-the-year (“Trust” – see my first post), I thought this battle was all about me.
How much faith I had.
How strong I could be.
What I could do on my own.
How I could fix _____.
How high I raised my hands in worship.
How tightly I closed my eyes when I prayed.
You get the picture. You’ve been there too.
My dear friend who co-pastors Heights Church in Colorado asked me to join her in a Bible study on warfare. What? Warfare? Isn’t that some deep, spiritual word that conjures up pictures of that awkward verse about wrestling with “principalities, against powers, against rules of the darkness of this world” from Ephesians 6:12?
Yes. Yes it is. And it’s real. It’s heavy. And at times, it’s right in front of you and behind you at the same time. Whispering lies and breathing down your neck. Keeping you up at night, eyes wide open and heart pounding.
This battle is not about me. And admitting that is the first step – humbling myself to realize that I can’t. I can’t fix, I can’t do, I can’t raise my hands high enough to push away this war.
What I can do is be the warrior that God created me to be. Of all the things we tell little girls they are (“God made you beautiful!” “God made you special!” “God made you just the way you are.”) we need to shout from the rooftops: “GOD MADE YOU A WARRIOR!”
And He equipped you to be a warrior! For goodness sake, He give you the best armor and the best sword full of promises of joy, peace, healing, love, and all good things. (Ephesians 6). Stop putting on someone else’s armor. Bless his heart, Saul thought he was doing good when he clothed little David in his over-sized, clunky armor. But David knew God was all he needed – and he proclaimed that (1 Samuel 17)!
What am I proclaiming today? Am I putting on the protective belt given to me by the advice of others? Am I arming myself with negative words of doubt? Or am I using the Word given to me by my Father? Am I trusting in Him and not in my own power?
What about you?